Questions and Answers
by Everybody's Neesan
Summary: The possible answers to some of Saiyuki's most asked questions. Ridiculous or serious, your request! Next: Is Goku stupid?
1. Why are Sanzo's eyes purple?

I keep asking myself all these strange questions as I read my Saiyuki, so I thought I'd share the answers I came up with! If people send me questions, I'll answer them as best I can. Some answers will be serious while others, like this first one, will be utterly ridiculous.

Question: Why does Sanzo have violet eyes?

* * *

"Hey, Hakkai…" Goku began.

"Yes, Goku? What is it?" Hakkai asked absently, his concentration still on the vegetables he was cutting up. Hakkai was preparing dinner and Goku, drawn by the smells wafting from the kitchen, was watching him and waiting for the meal to be ready.

"What are normal eye colours?" he asked.

Hakkai blinked in surprise. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean, Goku."

"Like, are green eyes normal?" he asked. "Or gold?"

"Ah, I think I see," Hakkai said with a smile. "There's nothing wrong with your eyes, Goku. They're supposed to be that colour."

"That's not what I meant!" Goku said, frowning. "What I wanted ta know was is purple a normal colour for humans?"

Hakkai paused. "No, not really. Sanzo is the only person, human or youkai, that I have ever seen with purple eyes."

"Why are his eyes purple?" Goku asked.

"Why don't you go ask him?"

x

"Sanzo, how come you have purple eyes?" Goku asked, bouncing into the room.

"What?" his guardian asked, looking up from his newspaper.

"Why are your eyes purple?" Goku insisted.

From the other bed, Gojyo looked up. "Who told you to ask? That's way too smart for a monkey to think up."

"I'm not a monkey, ya cockroach kappa!" Goku shouted, flaring up.

"Okay, how 'bout a baby monkey?" Gojyo said teasingly, smirking.

A gunshot went off and Goku and Gojyo yelped. "Silence!" Sanzo thundered, standing over them as they cowered together. "Get out now!"

Gojyo and Goku raced for the door, briefly squabbling over who got out first before disappearing down the stairs. Sanzo let out an irritated snort and shut the door, locking it behind them. Finally, he was alone!

x

Outside, Gojyo caught Goku by his collar. "Hey, stop!" he ordered.

"What?" Goku demanded, scowling. "We pissed Sanzo off, so we'd better keep goin'!"

"I'm not afraid of the holy prick," Gojyo said with a sneer. "Let's get him back!"

Goku stared at him. Gojyo had finally lost it! "What?"

"He's been too pissed lately. All you did was ask a question. That's no reason to shoot at us!"

"So what do you wanna do?" Goku asked, fascinated despite himself.

"Let's climb up and watch him," Gojyo said, looking up at the inn's sloping roof. "Then when he leaves the room, we'll steal his fan!"

A wide grin appeared on Goku's face. "His gun too, 'cause then he can't shoot at us anymore!"

"Let's go!" they said together, eyes gleaming.

x

Up in the room, Sanzo listened carefully. He could hear Hakkai humming down in the kitchen, and he'd scared off the two idiots for a while with that last shot. Now was the perfect time.

x

"Ssh!" Gojyo hissed.

"I didn't mean to slip!" Goku whispered back furiously, clambering up beside the kappa.

"He's still in there," Gojyo said quietly, jerking a thumb at Sanzo's room. Goku nodded his understanding, and the two of them crouched on the roof beneath the window, waiting for a signal that Sanzo had left the room.

After a few moments, there came the sound of cloth sliding on flesh and a delighted moan. Gojyo's eyes widened, and before he could stop him, Goku risked a quick look.

"Ero-saru!" Gojyo whispered, tugging him down again. "Quit peeking!"

"You're the peeker, not me," Goku retorted. "Sanzo's just taking off his robe…"

"I don't need to know that," Gojyo muttered as Goku stuck his head back up. "How much clothing does she have on?"

"She? What are you talkin' about?" Goku asked, still watching.

Gojyo looked, and saw Sanzo yanking his jeans off. "What's he doing?" he whispered.

His question was answered as Sanzo ripped off his underwear. The kappa let out a squawk and covered his eyes, only to feel Goku pulling his hands off. "Gojyo, you gotta see this!" he whispered excitedly.

Gojyo was about to make a dirty comment regarding pervy monkeys when he noticed what Goku had, and his mouth dropped open. Sanzo's nails had lengthened, his ears had sharpened to points and a swirling purple tattoo had appeared around his left bicep and his right cheek. Gojyo's eyes darted to the discarded underwear, which he now realised shone with the same dull silver as Hakkai's ear-clips.

"Holy fuck, he's a youkai!" Gojyo swore, falling on his butt.

"Hey, _that's_ why his eyes are purple!" Goku said happily.

* * *

Utterly improbable and impossible, but fun nonetheless. I hope I did okay with this, as it's my first foray into Saiyuki fanfiction. Please send me questions so I can have another go!


	2. Why does Hakkai use chi?

Back again, after far too long. I spend so much time on stuff for my Shinigami's Cup that I don't get around to posting for my other stories. Anyway, this chapter is for Jaffa-Cake-Queen, who sent me the following question.

Question: Why does Hakkai use chi?

* * *

"Well, now that you've decided to live, I guess I'd better teach you how to fight," Gojyo said, looking across the table at his new roommate.

"That would be greatly appreciated, Gojyo," Hakkai laughed. "Though I…"

"Let's try you out with a staff first," Gojyo said, interrupting him. "I've got a few sticks out the back that'll do."

x

"Try and land a hit on me," Gojyo called, throwing a long straight stick to Hakkai. He twirled his own stick and held it slanted across his body.

"Very well," Hakkai answered. He held out his hands to catch the staff, but it bounced off his outstretched fingers and hit his foot instead. Letting out a hiss of pain, Hakkai retrieved it, then tried to copy how Gojyo was holding his.

"Come on! I've got a date next week," Gojyo called teasingly.

"Here I come!" Hakkai warned, and ran for him, stick angled to strike. As he brought it down, the other end became entangled with his legs, and he went down in a sprawling heap.

"Never seen someone do _that_ before," Gojyo said, sweat-dropping. "Maybe you'd be better with a sword."

x

"Okay, so you're not better with a sword," Gojyo sighed. "How the hell did you manage to cut the hand you were holding the damn thing with?"

"I really don't know," Hakkai laughed, wrapping a bandage around his bleeding hand. "Perhaps I'm simply not suited for a weapon. After all, I do…"

"Bullshit. We just haven't found the right one," Gojyo reassured him. "Have you ever tried a bow?"

x

"To fire a bow, you hold it like this," Gojyo explained, demonstrating. "You fit the arrow in here and pull back the string, then aim and release. Got it?"

"It certainly seems simple enough," Hakkai said with a nod.

Gojyo passed him the bow and Hakkai tried to copy the pose Gojyo had just been in. "Not bad," Gojyo said. "Just turn that back foot a bit. No, the other way. Now pull back the string…"

As Hakkai pulled back the string, he sneezed, and the arrow flew from the bow. It glanced off a tree, hit the roof of the house and came flying back to land quivering in the bow itself. Gojyo stared at it in amazement for a few moments, then burst out laughing.

"Man… I never knew… someone could be… so dangerous… to themselves…" he choked out, wiping his streaming eyes.

Suddenly, Gojyo found himself face down on the ground. He blinked in surprise and tried to get up, only to find he was being held in an unbreakable hold. He twisted his head to see Hakkai smiling down at him, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

"I believe I've played along with this for long enough," he said pleasantly. "As I kept trying to tell you, Gojyo, I have quite a thorough grounding in martial arts." The amusement faded from his eyes and was replaced by bleakness. "In truth, I find weapons to be more of a burden than anything else."

"Fine, I get it," Gojyo grumbled, eager to distract him. "Now let me up!"

His smile back in place, Hakkai let him scramble to his feet and waited while he dusted his pants off. "Of course, having said that, I'd rather not face an armed man with just my fists and feet."

"Well, it looks like you're out of luck then," Gojyo said, a slow grin coming across his face. "'Cause you suck with weapons."

Hakkai laughed. "True."

"Unless you can learn some of that magic shit the pissy monk uses, you're pretty much screwed," Gojyo drawled. "Come on, let's get back inside. I'm dying for a beer."

As Gojyo sauntered back towards the house, Hakkai frowned thoughtfully. "Actually, Gojyo, that's not a bad idea…"

* * *

This is planned to lead into another chapter at a later date, though I have no idea when. I'm going to try to make it more serious, as everything I write seems to turn out funny whether I want it to or not.

Oh, by the way, did I remember to mention that I have no right to use anything Saiyuki-related yet do so anyway?


	3. Is Goku stupid?

Back again! I've been rather out of touch this past year, but I found this on my computer and decided to upload it. It started out as a request from Mongose, who wanted to know why Goku was stupid. It started me thinking, but I changed the title a little.

Question: Is Goku stupid?

* * *

Goku sits beside the fire and watches Hakkai stir the stew. On the other side of the fire, he knows Sanzo and Gojyo are having an argument about who the lighter they are fighting over belongs to. He also knows that soon Gojyo will say something he shouldn't, and Sanzo will become angry enough to draw his fan and beat the kappa senseless, or worse, draw his gun and shoot him.

So he speaks up. "Hey Sanzo, how come the stars only shine at night?"

As expected, Sanzo's anger is redirected, and Goku tilts his head so the blow of the fan is mostly cushioned by his hair. "Ow! I just wanted to ask a question!" he says, making a show of rubbing his head.

"Ask Hakkai, stupid monkey," Sanzo grumbles, pulling the newspaper from this morning out from somewhere within his robes.

Goku turns to Hakkai, knowing that involving him in the conversation will draw Gojyo's attention away from Sanzo. "Hakkai? How come they only shine at night?"

"Stars shine all the time, Goku," Hakkai explains with a smile Goku knows is false. He remembers a time when he broke Hakkai's monocle, and how the cracks that ran across the glass reminded him of the man that wore it. "You only see them at night because the sun is too bright during the day."

"Even a monkey should know that," Gojyo teased.

"I'm not a monkey!" Goku answers, because he knows it is expected of him. At least Gojyo has stopped arguing with Sanzo, who is now ignoring everyone. As Gojyo insults him again and he pretends to get angry, Goku feels satisfied that disaster has been avoided for another night, and the team will remain whole.

After all, you can't play mahjong with only three.

* * *

I think I'll leave you to answer the question yourself. The idea of Goku subtly manipulating them appealed to me, though I'm not sure if everyone would agree.


End file.
